How to Be a Confident You
(Written by Linda De Carvalho for Irina Chen)
If you’ve ever tried ice skating for the first time on a beautiful frozen lake during a fun winter trip, you may have found yourself falling flat on your back (or other body part). But that didn’t stop me from springing back up and trying again. I remember that magic little voice inside of me saying, “Get back up! You can do it!” But that little voice isn’t really magic, it comes from confidence, which is something that needs to be developed and nurtured. It’s not an automatic feature built into our psyche. Having faith in yourself and believing that you have the ability to do something great may sound like a tall order, but with some work, you too can be confident Woman inside and outside of your skin! Here is a list of tips that helped me to build confidence in myself, to be successful, and most importantly, to love myself.
Accept the reality of life. – Life is messy and the sooner you accept that reality the better! It has a way of presenting us with lots of challenges. In fact, if you’re thinking that life should just be peaches and cream with a storybook ending, you’re setting yourself up for lots of disappointment. But with the bad also comes the good. Explore more of life like trying new things. Find the people and places that make you smile and go back for more!
Don’t beat yourself up. – As humans, we are famous for our flaws. That’s what we do. We make mistakes. If we were perfect, we wouldn’t be who we are. Many of the smartest men and women on earth failed before succeeding. Try not to expect more from yourself than is realistic. And when something goes wrong, learn from it!
Learn to move on. – Dwelling on the imperfections of life, your mistakes, bad choices, etc. will not help the situation. Get up and out! Explore places that you’ve never been before, try a new dish, download a new app! Whatever you do, just move forward and away from negative thoughts and people that can hold you back.
Dress and act the part! One of the best ways to begin feeling confident immediately is to dress and act accordingly. Feel the beautiful and loving person that you are by making a few minor adjustments. After all, life is what you choose to make of it including what you wear, what you say, and how you act. No one else but you has that lifelong responsibility to make choices that ultimately become who you are.
Be assertive. – Get tough and learn to protect yourself. If you feel that you’re being cornered or disrespected, stand up for yourself. Now, I’m not saying that you should take a swing at someone or be aggressive, but I am telling you to be firm. Don’t let someone get away with treating you in a such a way that you yourself would never treat someone else. Tell them that they are out of line in what they are saying or doing and that it must stop! If all else fails, step away from the situation.
Know how special you are! – Science tells us that our DNA is very unique to each one of us. Add to that our life’s experiences and background, and you’ll quickly realize that no one on earth can be just like you! Celebrate who you are and take pride in where you’ve been and where you’re going.
Develop your skills and talents. – What do you love to do? Are you someone who loves to travel, loves to cook, loves to run, or plays a mean game of Words with Friends? Whatever it is, that’s the glory ofyou! Relish in the skills and talents that you possess! Sometimes, when we love to do something so much, we may overlook the fact that this thing we enjoy is really a talent or skill. You have a passion for doing things in life that makes you who you are. Develop those passions and whenever you can, share them with others.
Enjoy your independence. – Don’t let others be the key to who you are. Of course, you are someone’s daughter, aunt, mom, girlfriend, wife or other, but who you are is within your own mind, body, and spirit. Being you is what others love about you. Being yourself sends out a message to others how wonderful you are and how lucky they are to know you.
Stay true to who you are. – If you find yourself saying something that sounds untrue, it probably is. If you wear something that you are uncomfortable in, it may not reflect your taste. It’s important to be the best you can be according to your own inner guidelines. Refrain from needing the approval of others to make you whole. Know your own powers and be a superhero to yourself and others. Take a vacation to your favorite spot! Cook what you’re craving! Buy that outrageous outfit! Go ahead and enjoy what you love in life. You will amaze those around you and they’ll love to be with this confident and exciting you!
Love yourself. – This is the most important tip of all. It sounds so simple. Yet for some, knowing how to love yourself first can be a difficult concept. But when you really stop and think about, how can you appreciate the love of others if you don’t allow yourself the same opportunity? Sharing love takes willing participants who have experienced love beginning with the inside out. It’s like sharing a recipe or song. You need to have experienced these yourself to really share and enjoy! Find it hard to love yourself or don’t know where to begin? Start with the tips above.
Having confidence in yourself may take some effort but the pay off is well worth it. Doors will open for you and others will enjoy your company! After all, you possess what everyone wants in life, a clear path to happiness.